Hey....

Well, I've decided to keep updating this blog. Sam's website is hers now and I have no where to write. Not sure how honest I'll be able to be, you never know who might read this. But anything I say is my opinion and mine alone.

I am married but separated. Hubby has drinking problem, been dealing with alcoholics my whole life and have decided I'm done with it. Unfortunately, I still love my husband a great deal but I am unwilling to live like that anymore. It would be easier if he was always an asshole and not just sometimes. I am broke all the time but my kids are relatively healthy (for the moment) and they are relatively happy (til school starts again next week). My oldest Nik is 20, he's on his own now, working and trying to deal with losing his sight. That pretty much started our health suck fest, about 3 years ago. Then my 12 year old daughter Sam was diagnosed with meningitis. They found a brain tumor and what followed was a 16 month "we don't want to do a biopsy" period, where she was progressively getting worse and worse. Headaches, nausea, shunt insertion, infections, malfunctions, not able to go to school....They took it out in July 2004 and altho she has a lot of hormone deficiencies,she's pretty much good to go. She is getting straight A's and is making lots of new friends. My 11 year old son Alec has anxiety and an eating disorder. Talk about crappy. He is such a strong kid, he just doesn't know it yet. We are going to a clinic in Ohio and we're working on getting him to gain weight. He only weighs 56 lbs. It's going to be a long haul but we can do. Unfortunately, hubby is not on track with us on this. He refuses to participate in any of Alec's treatment. Not sure why, Guilt??? Ignoring is easier than dealing with?? I agree but obviously it's not the right way to go when you're talking about your childs health. And my daughter Caitlin is 17. She was born with a congenital malformation in her right collar bone. We finally had to get it fixed about a month before Sam got sick. And then she got into a car accident and broke it again, so back for more surgery. She's had 4 surgeries so far I think. She a gorgeous creature if I do say so myself. She's a really good kid, other than being female and 17. She wants to go to Chicago and go to college in the fall.

Ok, that's enough for today, Sam's feeling like crap and I have some laundry to do so I'll write more later. Love, Ellen