Today is better

It's been a while but thank God things have gotten better. I've moved. Nik moved to Chicago so he's doing better. Caitlin got a nanny job and a new apartment so she's doing better. Sam's the same and Alec's the same. So some things are the same, some better. Work is crazy, lots of overtime and I'm getting a trainee in a couple of weeks, always fun but the extra money will be nice.

We went to Camp Sunshine which was amazing, as always. We made lots of new connections and friends this year. We're going to New York in October with Caitlin and Rachel for Pumpkinfest in Central Park. We cannot wait!!! So excited. I'll try and update more. Sam only had 2 surgeries this year so far. One ICP and one revision. Still having bad headaches but she's growing and has lost about 10 lbs so she looks a little more like herself. She looks healthy. Looks can be deceiving. Ok we're going to bed and get ready for a big day of unpacking and putting away!!!

Wrong

Today is wrong. There's too much going on.

1. Sam's swelling is back, she feels like shit. How much longer are we supposed to do this?
2. Alec has to practice taking the bus tomorrow. It's like I told him he has to fly to Hong Kong by himself. He's freaking out. I gave him Xanax.
3. I'm broke.
4. Neither one of my older children who live away from home called me. Today is Easter. I don't care that they don't believe...I do and they didn't call me.
5. My dad is insisting on entertaining my brother repeatedly which means I can't go there. My brother, who's wife said Sam was retarded because she was afraid of them. My brother who told my sister Jenni that he was going to shoot her. And now my sisters are embracing my brother. That's fine, I just don't want to hear about it. I don't want pictures of their kids. He can kiss my ass.
6. I have no one to talk to. Absolutely no one. NO ONE. NO ONE. NO ONE.

Long Time....

Nothing good going on. Sam had an ICP monitor in February...14th to be exact. Since then she's had a fluid leak into her scalp. I think it's getting better but they had to turn down the pressure on her shunt to stop the leak. So she's constantly nauseated and headachy but I guess they have to stop the leak.

I might write some more tomorrow, everything is overwhelming.

December

I know it's been a while. I've just been busy. Working and getting ready for Christmas and taking the kids to doctors appointments.

Sam is feeling funky. She said she had a fluid pocket on her back the other day. She's been at Aunt Ruthies....Alec is here tonight. I had to shovel lots today. Not happy about it. Chris had 2 snowblowers and he gave them away. I could have used one.

Monday.....

Calvin and Jenni are in Michigan. I'm off all next week and she picks this week to come. I am hoping we can get over there tonight but it's a school night and Sam's teacher is coming over. So we'll see....She always does this. I know she's anxious to come home but we always are busy or I'm working. Oh well. Not much going on. Alec is in the Builders Club and Video Game Club at school. Sam might be going back part time on November 19, 2 weeks from today. That's about it...

Ellen's album

Photobucket Album

Melanie

OHMIGOSH. Just one of those moments that catch you by surprise. I have a sister named Melanie who lives in Texas. She and I share paternal DNA. I never got to see her as a child because they lived far away in Michigan and then Arizona and finally Texas. She just called me, I haven't talked to her in 15 years I bet. Last time I looked, she was like 11. Now she's 37. Whew. I think she said 37. She looks like an actress named Kay Lenz. That's what I remember. She talks with a Texas drawl, much like my sister Mary. My sister Jenni and I talk like normal people....hahahaha. The donor of the paternal DNA we share is apparently dying in a hospital in Portland Oregon. She has to make some decisions about DNR and stuff and was kind enough to call her "missing" siblings to see what their thoughts, if any, were. I really don't have any, he left when I was 4 and Mary was 3 and John was about 3 months old. I went to visit him and his mom, my namesake, Grandma Ellen, about 5 years ago, 3 months before Sam got sick. I love my grandma. She always kept in touch with us and we'd see her on holidays. She lived in a little house in Detroit, 1933 Green St. I wonder if that's why green is my favorite color??!! Grandma will be 91 in December. I hope I take after her side as far as longevity goes. Her mom lived to be 96. My mom was 51 and her mom was 52 when they died, so GO Grandma Ellen. So thank you Melanie for calling me. It means a lot that you included our thoughts in your decision. I just wish I could have helped you. But I'm glad for the blessing of talking to you tonight. You're my sister and I do love you. Oh and the weirdest thing??? She has 3 sons, Nicholas, Alex and Samuel. I have four kids, Nikolaas, Alec and Sammi. OH and Caitlin. I think it's very odd that our kids have the same names. Like long lost twins that find out all the things they have in common. Weird!!