Shit...

Chris...MIA....I call him yesterday because I'm at work and Sam is at school without lunch money. First time I call, no answer. Second time I call, intoxicated Chris answers. I said just forget it, you can't go up to school in this condition....he says, I already did..I had to take her a tylenol. But she was ok, (he implies, she didn't notice but later I find out she did notice and was mortified.) I told him that he can no longer continue this, what if she needed to go to the hospital. He starts crying and says it's getting really bad and he's either going to live or die. He says I wouldn't believe what he's contemplating. The dispatcher in me comes out....What are you contemplating sir... He wouldn't tell me but I didn't get the feeling he's suicidal...Unless you consider drinking yourself to death. I told him I still loved him and that this was killing me too. He said he knew that...

His mom ended up coming to the station to drop off a corsage for Sammi's induction into the National Honor Society.....I told her he needed help. He was treated for alcoholism about 20 years ago and his mom was shocked to find out he's still been drinking. She had no idea. I'm sure no one in his family did, except my sister in law who deals with the same problem with her husband, Chris' brother.

Chris' car hasn't been home all night and he didn't go to work last night, so I'm not sure where he is. He hasn't been arrested and I called a couple of hospitals. I'm not really worried but there's always that little niggle of doubt that he's gone and done something.

Alec and Sam are worried about him, he should at least call tonight, to let them know he's ok. Not sure how the kids are going to get to and from school tomorrow.....Alec has a half day...This is a fricking nightmare....

****Later...Chris is ok, says he spent the night at a hotel so he wouldn't be yelled at all night...He sounds sober and says he's going to find somewhere to get outpatient treatment....says meetings don't work for him and he can't do inpatient as he has to work.....